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life…

“My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.”
– Charles DickensDavid Copperfield, Ch. 42

        This life of ours is, in the simplest way I can put it; is an unbeatable enigma, regardless of the greatness of the mind, or the strength of heart granted to any man, from Einstein to Aristotle, Alexander to Napolean and so forth.  Life is an equation with no answer and not one single predictible trait, filled with factors displaying more randomness then any sort of sensible logic.  It is as much a cursed burden, as much as it is undeniably our most incredible, treasured gift from the cosmos.  It is comprised of as much bullshit, useless information, and pain…as it is of the most beauty that time and space could infinitely ever muster.  

Life is everything and nothing at all, it is me writting this, it is you reading it.  It is me getting drunk with my buddies after finishing this, it is you being inspired(for better or worse) to do the same after you finish reading this.

Life is love.  Life is hatred beyond comprehension.  The only real truth that I have discovered thus far in my sliver of accumulated acquired knowledge through expirience, is that there is no truth to be certain of.  

    For the truth is my friends, life is simply the unbreakable enigma of any that posess it.

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Englehood, Chiraq

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Raptocop.

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Coming Soon…..

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#Baltimore

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“Once more into the Fray…”

People, help me change the world…help me change yourselves and reach my goal.  I never felt as if I ever needed or even wanted anyone to find my art, my heart and soul “interesting”.

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The Very Real, Very Sad, Self-Destruction of the American Society Through Self-Cannibalism…

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Sex, drugs, and music that’ll make your brain rattle around inside your skull like a pinball machine… until, eventually, it F***’s up your very understanding of reality…
…Well, at least even more so than has in fact already been achieved through that alcohol infused, psychedelic slew of various chemicals that you have systematically ingested throughout the night….

    No, unfortunately this isn’t Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
What is this twisted nightmarish scene you ask?
Shit…this is just another average Saturday night for one outta millions of young adults, American kids (and by kids I mean like 16-23 year olds).

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    In fact, it’s a very “normal” Saturday night for an average kid, avaregely fucked up like me…

  “Nooo, not my son”,
“not my daughter”,
“And definitely not my little knucklehead”,

…Really breh?
Like really?…

Because it totally can’t possibly be that kid that I haven’t had an honest conversation, or any real communication lasting a duration anywhere over thirty seconds, since like the sixth grade or whatever…

…Definitely not…

     This, my friends, readers, sheep, wolves, mother’s, fathers, children, teenagers, whoever you are or are not etc…
…is how the American society, a once great culture, and in my opinion a still great people (deep down that is), choose to commit cultural suicide, to self-destruct.

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   The wave of repressed emotions, of personal insecurities, of lost family values, of broken marriages, moral absence, false historical guilt, anger, etc…is decaying America from the inside like a rotten, nasty old fruit.

….Is this how a progressive society
is supposed to be?

     Is this what our ancestors wanted for us?

What those that came here seeking a better future for their families slaved for? 

The very families that, if and when, do actually remember the people that essentially made it possible for them to even be born, don’t give two f***s about some bulls***t family history, or why their dead Great-Grandpa worked his fingers to the bone till the blood trickling out was the only shield hiding the results of long days at the factory, the only thing covering up the piled up callus and scars crisscrossing over his hands like an old, worn out hipster’s plaid flannel.

    Is our modern system simply the somewhat depressing evolution of our kind due to the evermore determined pursuit of knowledge and the change that is inevitably bound to come with it?

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    There are those that simply see this as humanity’s forward motion, as the advancement of a never ending series of evolving concepts acquired from the combined information archived by our forefather’s in order to pass a slightly brighter torch down to the following generation, which will ultimately twist what was given to them into their own “modern” perspective.  Maybe, yet if so, then why does it feel so wrong for some of us, why does it seem like a whole culture is engaging in a wide sweeping mass-act of self-cannibalism, spreading like a f***ed up cancer and eating away at whatever’s left of the goodwill in our broken, almost all but forgotten social structure.

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    Is there no-one that can ask why, or just have the will to say slow down this godforsaken crazy train before it derails.  There is a chance that this breakdown is just the blank stare of our country’s future, moving closer and closer while gazing at us evermore powerfully through its’ dull emotionless eyes.  Is there anyone that feels deprived of life’s real value in exchange for materialistic wealth, and if so, is it right to continue evolving in such a manner, or should Americans honestly take a closer look at themselves…

    It may soon be necessary to self-examine what we’re really doing here, at least before every one of our previous universally accepted values has been forsaken.  At this point however, one may even argue that idea to be completely unrealistic wishful thinking.  Is it even possible to stop the deterioration of the family, of love, of honor, and somehow get two generations of Americans born into divorces, absent fathers, mothers too busy to nurture, mothers too busy building a career to be mothers, into a family where the 18 year old hung-over chick at the daycare is the mother, and where the father is f***in Peter Griffin, sh*** with two parents like that how could a kid not grow up to be a genuinely decent person.

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    This wonderful land of prosperity, Xbox, and MTV that we have today, systematically raises children into a culture that forgot to teach them how to help your fellow man, or how to really treat a woman.  Is that part of the legacy human history has built up to the present, is leaving out how to respect others, or how to be honest and humble(then again if you’re taking lessons on humility from 2chainz that doesn’t really even seem to be an existing issue) really a beneficial part of the curriculum.  If this desensitization of the human spirit is naturally part of our evolution then I don’t know what the f***k Darwin was talking about, because as animals of any species Dolphins, Gorillas, Elephants, evolve increased intelligence, these creatures also evolve compassion for others of their kind, they develop better communication skills not tools to avoid the slightest personal contact, and most importantly a much closer relationship with those they deem as family.

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    It may possibly already be too late to repent for the destruction of the America that made us so unequivocally beautiful, a confession of guilt doesn’t come easily when the crime can be seen as the intentional slaughter of one’s own father and mother, viciously stabbing their very memories over and over with each new spark of selfish detachment from what our ancestors taught us about the true meaning of life and happiness… But, they also taught us that nothing is impossible.

     Once upon a time, long ago in an enchanted, not so distant kingdom where people actually gave a f***k, there lived a people called the Americans, that were respected for their goodwill and renowned for their great strength across the world.

    The people of this and all of the other surrounding kingdoms had a magical power, this power made them able to speak to one another, to argue when necessary, to love, to question, to explain, to express their feelings, to communicate.  For a while all of the world’s people used their magic to enhance the lives of each other and much was accomplished, mostly good, some evil.

    Soon America had become the greatest and most prosperous kingdom of all, and things were good for a time.  Then as the wealth of the people grew, so did their selfishness.

    As the kingdom continued to prosper many new ideas were developed, and with these new ideas came new tools, tools that made the world easier, and for a while things were good.  Soon the people of the kingdom had acquired a taste for these new tools and increasingly created newer and more advanced technologies, tools that made it possible to communicate across a room or a country just as easy, and as these devices became increasingly sophisticated, so did the people’s dependency on the tools.

    Yet as the kingdom’s subjects continued their enthusiastic embrace of their creations, their magical powers were slowly being used less and less, for the tools had nearly replaced all of their magic’s previously overlooked functions.

    Finally the people of the kingdom reached a point where the powers that had allowed them to understand and feel each other’s emotions, their ability to trust and love, to be alive, had vanished overtime, forgotten as the people refused to communicate with their heart and chose instead to put in its place a cold piece of metal and plastic.  In the end instead of bettering their connections with each other, the people lost contact with reality, viewing and understanding their world exclusively through their tools.

    The tools had become imbedded in their lives forever, an extension of their body, almost like a new limb, and so the people’s magic died as their tools even took over the family interactions at home, further and further the once happy society had receded into their machines.

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“Modern Democracy at a Crossroads: the Decay of the Republic.”

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Alright. Leme give it to yah straight viewers of my art, no doubt even now, opinion forming gears in full motion as you read this….anyway, check it. 

Sorry to disappoint people that assumed this piece to be a “Fuck the Poh-lice” “No Justice, No Peace” “187” etc. Bullshit. Nope, “ain’t ahbaht it” to make it simple. In my opinion these protests, hatred, riots, violence, and the racially charged tinderbox that these ignorant people have created is more or less either the black community’s understandably deep rooted, yet a this stage misguided distrust of the white man, or just a easy cover for a criminal minority to wreak havoc.
Now, about the piece above, about the recent spotlight thrown on to the police brutality against the civilian population.
That is a real issue.
For that cause I can stand in solidarity with the African American community, for I have had quite fuckin’ enough o’ these mother fuckers.
This is NOT about race, let me make that clear.
This is not an issue targeting the blacks specifically. Whites, Latinos, doesn’t matter if your brown, purple, or rainbow.  You step outta line and they will hurt you.
I know.
Too many times.
Too much pain.
Hate them.
Hate what this does to my family.
Again and again.
They have no remorse, no mercy nor pity regardless of race, of age, of your explanation.
My uncle andzej once told me something after getting into an argument with a cop. This confused me because I believed the police were always the good guys no matter what, well I was just a boy, and he was still a free man,
“Marcel, just because a man wears a star doesn’t mean he is an angel.  Even Lucifer was once the Lord’s favorite”.

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Judgement Day

I stand here puffing a cigarette. My third to be honest, not because I’m a damn chain smoker or something but due to my stress levels at the moment.       

Stress. A heart breaking, stomach twisting, migraine producing curse of the human condition.  An enemy within more difficult to battle than any outside, that breaks men of even the toughest, rock hard conviction down into a puddle of utter despair.  An enemy that separates it’s victim from his or her friends, family, and loved ones rendering them alone, vulnerable, and helpless.  Stress.  A demon that possesses men’s souls without bias or remorse and casts them aside by the wayside, lifeless, after eating out their hearts like a savage evil beast.

At this very moment, as I write I notice that I have only a few puffs left until I will be forced to walk into the massive imposing structure but a couple feet behind me and face my fate, whatever that might be. 

At this very moment my future hangs in the balance.  I take one last drag. I puff that cigarette hard for all it’s got, knowing fully well that it might be my last for awhile.

At this very moment the clouds seem to drift aside to allow a long overdue first glimpse of Springtime.  Seconds later comes the much welcomed bright return of the Sun, fresh out of a long winter’s hibernation, appearing as if just for me, as if to wish me good luck I think.

At this very moment I pause, allowing the Sun to warm my face, basking in this second wishing that it could last forever.  Reality hits me as my phone starts to vibrate in my hands.  My lawyer’s calling, he’s waiting in front of the court room for me as usual perhaps, and as usual I’m late.  I flick my cigarette and turn away from my old friend the Sun, he cannot come with me.

At this very moment I walk into the shadows of the looming courthouse, it’s bout that time….