Flashbang

FLASH

              …And then a sizzle coupled with a faint ringing, which meant that I was, at least for the moment, still alive.

Now; sprawled out on the dust coated cement, and unsure exactly how I had gotten here, I instinctively drew my hands from my still crippled eyes.

Initially an attempt to gain any grasp whatsoever of the unfolding scene around my shaking, neutralized body through means of the ears was a failure, prevented by the still persistent ringing deep inside my skull.

 In that moment I realized that the senses which, I, under usual circumstances rely upon in gauging a situation, were currently compromised.

Then, very cautiously, I tried to open up just a sliver of sight. The idea proved a bit rushed, as a foggy white film greeted me.  I closed them once more for a while, as the ringing in my ears slowly subsided.

Even with my ears still largely unusable, I realized very quickly that I was not alone in that damp, dark room.

…very quickly I realized my previously accessed fears, were in fact my present reality.

Now,

They were here.

They had come for me…

 

 

 

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An Honest Attempt, at Understanding Our World, through the Things which Shape it: [Entry#1.]

Much, if not most, of the information, which,you are fed systematically, day by day, tweet by tweet,  on Facebook, Youtube, and on your campus, your street-corner, in the media, and even from within the confines of knowledge, provided to you via any given choice of daily news outlet; is either highly opinionated, or, simply pure opinion.  That, is the truth, whether you like it, or admit this to be the reality, is in fact utterly irrelevant in the matter…

That said; the validity of the following passages, is for you to judge through your own self-justifiable convictions, being the child of my own personal observations, and consequent arrival at the various conclusions, relating to the subject at hand.  The concepts involved, belong to a quite broad spectrum of topics, ranging in their importance, at least in regards to your own minuscule place in this vast world of ours.

These are subjects analyzed through my own understanding, which in my personal opinion, at least honestly attempts to remain as ‘unbiased’ as humanly possible.  Unfortunately, as is the case, in, well, each and every single one of us, there is undeniably an element of unintentional, as well as uncontrollable, bias, stemming from the churning undercurrents of the dark sea beneath our conscious mind.  Perhaps, dear reader, you can let me know if you encounter anything of the sort, and, perhaps I may actually give a fuck about your observations;

or not.

…who knows.

In any case; I guess we may proceed at this point.

…Finally.

Well then, I mean, where exactly might one thrust the blade first, whilst given such a grand bounty of diverse cultural, geo-political, socio-economic, or even militarily based, topics and issues, influencing the planet which we inhabit today.

Then again we can’t simply just strike at the jugular first; what’d be the fun, or point in that now?

Especially, given the fact that, realistically I don’t honestly even really know, where it is exactly, that this ‘jugular’ topic lies.

Well…

…You’ll just have to find out in my next Entry, as that last beer, now sitting in empty submission at the edge of my screen, has swayed me against any further use of my conflicted, tired mind, at long last.  In addition to which, it’s lovely neighbor, a cheeky little joint, rolled not too long ago with care, by my own hand; has been begging for a chance to ‘spark-up’ a conversation with me.

Until next time then dear open-minded reader, and in the mean time, think beyond the boundaries which have been placed before you, think out loud if that’s what it takes to break them down like a wall in Berlin, contemplate EVERYTHING, and never, NEVER, surrender your deepest convictions to the restrictive, oppressive fools fighting to gain control of your very soul, every day.  I will be with you, now, and in those times I have mentioned in the preceding sentence, so remember my words, let them echo within the corridors of your mind, when the time comes, in your own voice, through the force of your own will.  I trust it’s stronger than you believe.

For ‘doubt’, dear friends; is only as strong as you let it be, and only exists, if you believe in it…

 

 

Thoughts on February 2017…

I’m sitting here, in a dinky little suburban coffee shop, sipping a latte, and doing something instrumental, in regards to my own understanding of ‘life’ itself; something which I have not been all to great at undertaking as of late…

…contemplating the living shit, out of everything in the world around me.

Why do I do it? I sheepishly ask myself, before a ghastly, annoying little voice inside of my aching brain responds with a simplistic…’because you’re fuckin’ nuts man.’; after which, yet another side of me bellows out from the depths of my soul, ‘Stop contemplating why you contemplate so much…life is beautiful, incredible, and undeniably infinitely intriguing, at least when one knows where to look’.  I then come to the realization, that first, one must actually ‘want’ to look.

  My mind flails to&fro, zigzagging through endless corridors, lined with flashing images, discarded thoughts, left scattered amongst the wreckage of my struggle to better comprehend our world, and barricaded rooms, blocked off for various reasons; some known to me, others lost to the dark caverns of my inner psyche.  I cringe, in a routine ritual attempt, at shaking the unwavering onslaught of cumulative concepts, flickering like strobe lights, in a bourgeois dance club through my consciousness; simultaneously, my earthly existence trickles back in through the back of my head, and out, into the fore-front.  ‘I’m back’, I sigh; ‘Kind-of…’.

Well, it’s February, cold but not freezing, warmer, yet not warm.

It’s almost like a seasonal purgatory in a sense; somewhere in the middle.  I stare outside the widow at the street outside.  The sun is setting, and, for a moment, the world on the other side of the foggy glass almost looks pleasant, warm even…yet the Chicago sun can be deceptive.  This land has yet to be liberated from the icy grasp of a Northern winter; yet, that makes little difference in my growing desire to step outside, and away from these wretched laptop keys, away from you all.  It’s not because I don’t wish to carry on my relentless assault on your perception of me being anything, ‘but’, a normal person, whatever the fuck that means.  No, in fact, I happen to be quite fond of my pervasive addiction to little cylindrical sticks of cancer…and they’re calling my name.

So…in retrospect, I have very little apathy for clinging to a single, overly-simplistic, and, at least in my own humble opinion, based upon my quite basic ‘I really don’t fucking care’ approach to going about ‘things’; the month of February, in Chicago that is, kind of sucks, but then again I guess that it really doesn’t suck all too much…Oh,

and I need to have a damn cigarette already.

Happy Trails Fuckers.

M.B.Strix

Dice, or Chess…

They say life is just like rolling the dice…could come up with a set of 6’s, or throw down and find a couple of snake eyes starring back up at you. I guess if you’ve never been to the darker part of town (and I don’t know did I mean that literally?), in jail, or maybe somehow just never got around to playing a fucking game of Risk (*in which case see |^sec.8/article:°5.1|; ; under the heading”Go fuck yourself”)  , then maybe I’m wasting my time with that metaphor, and maybe you should go play some fucking Risk already…wait, what was I-ah yes.
    So now that we got all of that out of the way; as I was saying, life, they say, is just like rolling the dice…A game, into which, we are each randomely thrust down. Hence we are doomed to that fortune which we are dealt, landing, as do the dice, to play our own individual position.  They say that we don’t control the toss which deals us our lot, instead each simply flailing like an insignificant little ant dropped into a glass of water, instinctively trashing its limbs to and fro, desperately trying to fight for a chance to survive.  They say we came to the places we’ve  been, this place we are now, and the place which we will ultimately arrive at, through riding like a paper plane on the unpredictable winds of “fate”.  In simpler terms, we are just observers,unaware of what is to come, or able to influence in any way for that matter, yet destined to live out our preset plan nonetheless.  We; you, me,him, her, winners and losers,” somebody” or “nobody”.  As if we are all just reading the book of our own existence, flipping through the pages one by one, unaware of what the next shall bring, yet reading on regardless.  Our knowledge exyends only as far as the pages before the one which we view currently, hoping that the author, God, has written the story ahead in line with our wants, our needs, individual aspirations, and hopes.  Alas, they say, that we are inevitably not the author of the story but instead doomed to live out our days through a predetermined existence, in a preprogrammed  world…like rolling the dice.
…I say, dice just isn’t my kinda game.
See in my eyes”they”, are in fact living out this predetermined life simply because “they” are playing the wrong game…
Some in this world go through life playing dice, personally…
I prefer chess.

life…

“My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.”
– Charles DickensDavid Copperfield, Ch. 42

        This life of ours is, in the simplest way I can put it; is an unbeatable enigma, regardless of the greatness of the mind, or the strength of heart granted to any man, from Einstein to Aristotle, Alexander to Napolean and so forth.  Life is an equation with no answer and not one single predictible trait, filled with factors displaying more randomness then any sort of sensible logic.  It is as much a cursed burden, as much as it is undeniably our most incredible, treasured gift from the cosmos.  It is comprised of as much bullshit, useless information, and pain…as it is of the most beauty that time and space could infinitely ever muster.  

Life is everything and nothing at all, it is me writting this, it is you reading it.  It is me getting drunk with my buddies after finishing this, it is you being inspired(for better or worse) to do the same after you finish reading this.

Life is love.  Life is hatred beyond comprehension.  The only real truth that I have discovered thus far in my sliver of accumulated acquired knowledge through expirience, is that there is no truth to be certain of.  

    For the truth is my friends, life is simply the unbreakable enigma of any that posess it.