Sunset on the lot

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Them Mongolians…

To be Young and ‘kinda-sorta’ in love…

Things just tend to get completely over complicated, I mean for-real.  I have literally never quite felt the way I do about this certain individual.  In order to avoid a ton of bullshit, and get straight to the point, I guess, that essentially is where this twisted tale of post-‘kinda/sorta’ love must begin…

So love. Such a charged word, concept, emotion, etc…etc. It’s a powerful force no matter what you personally want to call it.  I personally wish that I could say that I have never been infected by the ‘disease’.  After all, that is how I regard the matter; an illness of the weak heart, a torture that surpasses all other human invented interrogation methods, and possibly the true ‘7th circle of hell’.

…Too much?

I wish I could say so. In fact, I cannot.

Why?

Because it just frustrates the living shit outta me…

I mean I was over this girl…done, finito, end of the road…

At least I thought I was…

Nope…fate had other plans, and months after a nearly three-year relationship had ended…boom-bahta-bing the bitch pops up and fucks a dude’s head up till he’s pounding shots with his tie wrapped around his heads like a native American war-band.

I mean what is it about that certain person that can conjure up the absolute idiot in us?

Is that a way of telling us that this individual is truly a special breed among the countless others which we have (personal/intimate) relations with?

Or is it just God seeing what happens when we are stretched to our ultimate breaking point…

Unfortunately, I have no fucking clue.  That’s the point maybe.

Maybe love, or whatever you want to call it, is ultimately just there to remind each of us who we really are.  I mean yes, we do become babbling idiots that tend to not take it easy on the drinks when that person appears out of the blue and smack-dap in your unsuspecting lap, but then again that act of losing all self-dignity isn’t something that we can help.   It is inherently just the way we are, and essentially that’s just life.  Maybe sometimes it’s good to feel human after maintaining an emotional disconnect from any feelings, or true ‘human’ tendencies what-so-ever.  In my case it’s like I was so busy building a great wall for the next attack of the Mongolians that I didn’t realize the fuckers could simply fly over the wall or come from the other side, rendering that self-imposed emotional block to collapse without a fight.

You know what, I guess what I’m trying to say is there is no clear answer to how to go about love, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you just don’t have any fucking clue what to say about the matter.

The only real truth is, even a great wall of diamond ain’t stoppin’ them Mongolians.